bad prognosis

alhamdulillah..tamat sudah 2nd week of peadiatrics rotation.

overall,seronok peads ni..terima kasih docs at mafraq..walaupon dr ruqayah refuse nak amek gambar atas permintaan faiz. :)

teringat satu kejadian paling menginsafkan.


budak yang cardiac hyperthrophic (cardiac=jantung,hyper=besar,throphic=size).

keadaan die mmg menginsafkan.nak bernafas mcm tgh berlari merentas desa sukan sekolah menengah islam hira' (aku top 10 tu..haha).berpeluh2,muke pucat,cyanosis (kale biru) jelas gile kat bibir.

dah 3 hari x makan.

xleh nak baring (coz orthopnea).

pastu bile tgk xray die..ya rabbi..mmg besar betul jantung die..sampai lung die terhimpit.


yang menyentuh hati aku adelah dialog ni;

budak; dokter..sy nak balik rumah!
dokter; awak kan sakit..awak balik rumah camne nak sembuh?

budak; sy nak balik jugak! (nak nangis)
dokter; ok2..lepas asar awak boleh balik kalau awak dah ok

dokter; cakap lah INSYA ALLAH (Gul INSYALLAH)
budak; ..................

dokter; cakap lah INSYA ALLAH (Gul INSYALLAH)
budak; ..................

mak budak,group c10,marsteello,syamilsalmi,wizham,fm4_eva ; INSYAALLAH
budak ;.................. insyaallah....


doctor (dalam english) ; this is bad prognosis..what we can do is give him o2.he must do cardio-pulmonary transplantation (tukar jantung dan peparu)..if not---



ulasan aku;budak tu pun ragu2 nak cakap insyaallah sebab dah bape banyak 'lepas asar' yang doktor2 janji..sabarlah wahai adik,semoga setiap kesakitan yang awak alami akan diganjari oleh ALlah..

dan hari last aku kat hosp mafraq pun still budak tu ade kat situ

kene belajar camne nak jadi cool mcm doctor..xle nak feeling lebih2 sampai sanggup jadi xprofesional..(mcm xnak bgtau awak ade cancer,awak ni mandul..etc)

the motivational emails

 marwan, 
 
I did not raya at home for 6 whole years..the whole overseas experience makes you a better and a tougher person, to prepare you for the life that is coming.
 
just remember the life of a doctor is a constant stress, first the stress of getting the good grades to enter medical school, then the stress of studying the numerous subjects, then the stress of being a housemanship ( I like to say this to my houseman: Welcome to the place where the days are long and the nights are even longer), then the stress of being a doctor: too much work, long hours, never-ending complaints from patients ( I had one complaint in the chinese papers yesterday), poor pay, no time for the family..the list is endless. 
 
but there are some great moments, though few and far between. I received a raya card from a Chinese houseman who said that I am a very caring person..I am keeping this card and showing it to everyone. Another e mail from a paediatrian says the same thing..occasionally we get thank you cards..but most of the time people take us for granted and think it is their due to get the best out of us, and they are quite right. but we could do with some compliments to boost our morale.
 
at the end of the day,you accept your lot in life, and you pray to Allaah Almighty to give you what is due to you in the after world and in this world, plus a bit more of course..because you think you have done some good to some people despite your warts and all.

narimah yahaya (changkat jering,pengarah hospital besar taiping,baru pencen minggu lepas)

-----------------------------------------------

mami, biaq gi depa kawin semua cepat macam ayah cu.
 
i forgot. i was 23 (1992) then. 
 
yeah, that was the penultimate year in medical school.
medical students at that time were so good, they're doing too many vaginal examinations and breast examinations on patients during the postings. not to mention my friend who had to stick his finger 50 times into patients' anus(es) because he forgot to examine one during the real examination. many had to get married. life was too harsh on us. 
many patients too requested that we became their menantu. until now pun.
 
i did better after marriage, despite travelling to and fro from seremban to KL. the bike was great, but the old mazda 323 (1979) i salvaged from the scrapyard in tampin was even better. i graduated as a mechanic as well on the final day of medical school. ask pak long how i fixed his rented van in kundasang en route to kinabalu park in 1994. i almost did it again in cairo airport many years later, but my guts said i should not try to be too smart in front of the arabs in the wee hours in the morning. i might be kidnapped and ask to marry a girl like nabi musa alaihiwassalam.
 
i still dont understand why young people dont settle down fast enough. we have 5 female cardiologists in IJN - all single. maybe trying too hard. maybe too choosy. maybe too late.
 
oi!! jamilones semua!
 
annur 32 :
and marry those among you who are single and the salihuun of your slaves and maid-servants. if they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-knowing.
 
need i say more? 
ayah cu...

shaiful yahaya (cardiologist,IJN)

Allah helps us..ameen :)

dam dam dum..bunyi mercun

setelah puas menekel baring di padang bola,defender irbid bermaafan dgn striker irbid dihari raya pertama

"Tidak ada dosa yang lebih layak dipercepat hukumannya di dunia, dan apa yang dipersiapkan Allah baginya di akhirat daripada tindakan kezaliman dan memutuskan hubungan silaturrahim". (HR. Ibnu Majah dan Tarmizi)

"Siapa yang ingin dilapangkan rezekinya dan dipanjangkan usianya, hendaklah ia memelihara hubungan silaturrahim". (Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

better late than never- saya marwan hadiid nazarudin ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya diiringi dengan lafaz Maaf Zahir dan Batin kepada semua..kalau ade hutang boleh la tuntut,tergossip mahupun umpat secara segaja atau tidak juga saya meminta kemaafan yang tulus..ok series la,kalau xpuas hati atau ade pape kite gentleman jumpe ok?no hard feelings and none are taken insyaallah..

juge ingin mengirim ucapan jutaan Terima Kasih kepada semua warga irbid kerana membuat open house yang gilang gemilang (baca=gilang gemilang mengikut standart org bujang,dan berjantina lelaki,sekian.)

tak lupa kepada pengirim kueh2 raye yang sedap...

diikuti kepada para ahli serumah yang sudi beraya bersama tuan hamba

dan ibu bapa serta family yang jauh nun di sri andalas..rindu kalian-

sekian warkah raya,

marwan macleod

(tajuk buku yang masuk xm sabtu ni)

'kami,jejaka-jejaka agak hot Irbid mengucapkan,Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,Maaf Zahir dan Batin'hahah

paling takut

sejak masuk hopital ni

ade penyakit yang makin menular

iaitulah penyakit 'tak rase ape ape bile jumpe orang sakit'

sebab hari-hari jumpe orang sakit..maka..jumpe pakcik terlantar sakit,nak bernapas macam suku nyawa pun..rilllekkkkk jek

antara kes2 dah dijumpai dan sepatutnya diinsafi di hospital selama 2 minggu-

1.budak kecik 9 tahun,diabetes (rare,sebab org tue je slalu kene)

2.baby baru lahir..ant fontanel die abnormal..(kepala besar,cranial bone defective)

3.pakcik tua 70++.athma teruk,kahak kale ijau,diabetes..(pastu esoknye ade budak buat lawak.eh pakcik semalam tu dah xde..dah gol ke aa?ish ish..sebabnye aku pun gelak jgk)

4.pakcik 50++.sakit jantung.(MI) sakit dada yang amat sampai kene masuk emergency room

wahai jiwa..janganla ko jadi keras sampai nampak tanda2 kekuasaan ALlah pun ko tak sedar..tak reti2 nak insaf..

sebab antara faktor utama aku nak jadi dokter adelah untuk mengingat diri sendiri tentang kematian.tapi,amat rugi jika doktor2 sendiri bersikap hati kering dengan kejadian2 yang menyayat hati ni.

mmg betul,kite tak rase bersyukur dapat nikmat udara sebab setiap masa kita bernafas.

kita tak rase ajaib dengan carekawala sebab nampak bulan dan bintang2 setiap malam

kite tak pelik kalau lompat akan jatuh ketanah (boleh bayang dunia tanpa graviti?)(bayt graviti)

tak pernah nak bersyukur dengan nikmat2 yang slalu lupe..boleh bangun pada esoknya,satu nikmat yang besar..skali tidur tak bangun2..camne?bangun2 tros melompat masuk tandas..kes terok bangun2 qada solat subuh.doa bangun tidur entah kemane.entah2 doa bangun tido time dalam bas pergi jamiah (tupun kalau ingat).sedarlah wahai jiwa.

cuba bayangkan sebelum tidur.ini adelah tidur yang terakhir.dan tidak akan bangun lagi.tidur yang kekal abadi sampai tiupan sangkakala yang kedua.

kafa al mautu bil mauizoh

[cukuplah kematian sebagai peringatan]

[.......]

I'm callin' U
With all my goals, my very soul
Ain't fallin' through
I'm in need of U
The trust in my faith
My tears and my ways is drowning so
I cannot always show it
But don't doubt my love

I'm callin' U
With all my time and all my fights
In search for the truth
Tryin'a reach U

See the worth of my sweat
My house and my bed
Am lost in sleep
I will not be false in who I am 
As long as I breathe

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
all I need in my life

I'm callin' U
When all my joy
And all my love is feelin' good
Cuz it's due to U

See the time of my life
My days and my nights
so it's alright
Cuz at the end of the day 
I still got enough for me and my

I'm callin' U
When all my keys
And all my bizz
Runs all so smooth
I'm thankin' U
See the halves in my life 
My patience, my wife
With all that I know
Oh, take no more than I deserve
Still need to learn more 

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
all I need in my life

Our relationship, so complex 
Found U while I was headed straight for hell in quest
You have no one to compare to
'Cause when I lie to myself it ain't hidden from U
I guess I'm thankful
Word on the street is U changed me
It shows in my behaviour
Past present future
Lay it all out
Found my call in your house
And let the whole world know what this love is about

Yo te quiero, te extraño, te olvido
Aunque nunca me has faltado, siempre estas conmigo
Por las veces que he fallado y las heridas tan profundas
Mejor tarde que nunca para pedirte mil disculpas
Estoy gritando callado yo te llamo, te escucho, lo intento
De ti yo me alimento
Cuando el aire que respiro es violento y turbulento
Yo te olvido, te llamo, te siento

[Translation:]
I love you, I miss you, I forget you
Even though you never let me down and always are by my side
For all the times I've failed and hurt you deeply
Better later than never to give you a 1000 apologies 
I'm shouting silently, callin' you, I'm listening to you, I'm tryin'
You nourish me
When the air that I breathe is violent and turbulent 
I'm forgettin' you, I'm callin' you, I'm feelin' you

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U...

oh, no, no 
i don't need nobody
& i don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but you 
MY one and only

I don't need nobody
& i don't fear nobody
I don't nobody but you
all i need in my lifee
I'm callin' U
With all my goals, my very soul
Ain't fallin' through
I'm in need of U
The trust in my faith
My tears and my ways is drowning so
I cannot always show it
But don't doubt my love

I'm callin' U
With all my time and all my fights
In search for the truth
Tryin'a reach U

See the worth of my sweat
My house and my bed
Am lost in sleep
I will not be false in who I am 
As long as I breathe

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
all I need in my life

I'm callin' U
When all my joy
And all my love is feelin' good
Cuz it's due to U

See the time of my life
My days and my nights
so it's alright
Cuz at the end of the day 
I still got enough for me and my

I'm callin' U
When all my keys
And all my bizz
Runs all so smooth
I'm thankin' U
See the halves in my life 
My patience, my wife
With all that I know
Oh, take no more than I deserve
Still need to learn more 

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
all I need in my life

Our relationship, so complex 
Found U while I was headed straight for hell in quest
You have no one to compare to
'Cause when I lie to myself it ain't hidden from U
I guess I'm thankful
Word on the street is U changed me
It shows in my behaviour
Past present future
Lay it all out
Found my call in your house
And let the whole world know what this love is about

Yo te quiero, te extraño, te olvido
Aunque nunca me has faltado, siempre estas conmigo
Por las veces que he fallado y las heridas tan profundas
Mejor tarde que nunca para pedirte mil disculpas
Estoy gritando callado yo te llamo, te escucho, lo intento
De ti yo me alimento
Cuando el aire que respiro es violento y turbulento
Yo te olvido, te llamo, te siento

[Translation:]
I love you, I miss you, I forget you
Even though you never let me down and always are by my side
For all the times I've failed and hurt you deeply
Better later than never to give you a 1000 apologies 
I'm shouting silently, callin' you, I'm listening to you, I'm tryin'
You nourish me
When the air that I breathe is violent and turbulent 
I'm forgettin' you, I'm callin' you, I'm feelin' you

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U...

oh, no, no 
i don't need nobody
& i don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but you 
MY one and only

I don't need nobody
& i don't fear nobody
I don't nobody but you
all i need in my life

syababun syababun syababil bina

1.kisah ini berlaku ketika zaman 90an

2.kisah ini kisah betul

2nd time aku pegi camping adelah pada time darjah 5.kalau syabab fatayat (versi pengakap skolah SMI) pangkatnye adelah amil tak silap.camp site yg dipilih adelah sungai tua (ke congkak ek?samelah tu)

so,kitorang dibahagikan dalam 8orang satu team.aku ingat time tu dgn hanif zaim,ahmad zulkifli,luqman hakim dawam,beng (tak pasti),adzim (pon xpasti).pastu adelah budak2 yang jadi watak tambahan dalam team tu (haha kejam/tak ingat sbnrnye).

kalau camping,mesti la kene masak sendiri..atas kayu api..kalau masak nasik,kene la cuci kerak2 die tepi sungai.sabun?xdenye sabun..gune pasir,ala2 kertas las gitu.maka sorang ahli kumpulan aku ni sbb turn die kene basuh periuk nasik,die bawakla periuk ke pergigian(xde kene mengena dgn dentistry) air sungai.dengan muke masam,ala2 pemalas tapi dah melantak nasik dengan banyak die cuci la periuk.

agaknye ade fatayat maneee ntah yg kebetulan same2 cuci periuk kat sungai (atau tgh mandi?haha) maka member aku ni terleka.sedar2 periuk dah ilang.bukan periuk nasik je,habes periuk lauk sume dah kene hanyut dek ombak sungai.

dipendekkan cerita,ktrg repot kat muallim (ustaz versi SMI) fairuz dgn muallim zaini.tak sangke plak derang betol2 marah dgn kejadian tu.mane taknye,xde periuk,xmakan la.dahla kes tu berlaku di awal2 perkemahan.maunye pasni kene makan daun sorang2.diorang suruh ktrg jangan balik ke khemah slagi xjumpe periuk belanga yang entah kemana tu.sume ni salah fatayat la ni.hoho

maka ktrg dgn rase meluat rase nak belasah nak lemaskan je mamat tadi tu pun dgn tabahnye mencariklaa periuk meriuk tersebut.dekat 2km jgk la ktrg susur sungai tu.tp sume ahli2 sabar je cari.xde nak salahkan member td.kate orang berat same dipikul,ringan same dijinjing ye x?

so kesudahannye mmg xjumpe.muallim yg panggil ktrg balik.muallim kasi gune periuk die.selamat.

tapi hari last syabab dgn fatayat adeanugerah platon terbaik.tak sangke platon ktrg menang.seriesli mmg aku sendiri bajet platon ni kalau dalam perang betul sorang2 dah lari/mati/pengsan dulu sebelum stat perang lagi.tapi nak jadi cerita moral dan post kalini ktrg menang platon terbaik amil tahun tu.

moral,

1-innallaha ma'a jamaah (sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa bersama dgn orang2 yang berjemaah)-susah woo nak satukan hati dalam kumpulan ni.tak kisahla kumpulan nasyid ke kawad ke klinikal ke hatta ingat senang ke kumpulan rock scorpion nak bertahan lebih 20 tahun?kite kene tolak ansur dan cube memahami perasaan ahli len.

2.hadis lagi, 'ikhsyaushinu fainnama ni'mata la tadum.(bersusah payah la,sebab kesenangan tu takkan berkekalan).kalau kite dah biase dgn susah payah,bile senang,kita akan ingat camne zaman kesusahan pastu akan tolong orang2 yg susah.penah jumpe orang yg teros senang?kan drg xle nak survive kalau dtg kesusahan

in this masai land,we walk for the meaning of our ownself

1. alhamdulillah,berjaya balik ke jordan lengkap semua anggota badan

2. ramai tanye bes ke x kenya.mmm,menarik.orang2 nye friendly,mesra dan suke tolong orang.tapi kalau sebelum dtg mindset dah cakap jalan mesti berturap,ade bangunan tinggi2,bersih wal afiat-gerenti akan tersiksa la sepanjang duduk sane.

 3. aktiviti2 yang ktrg buat sepanjang 2 minggu di kenya

a-round2 nairobi

b-safari (yeaaha)

c-pergi Mombasa (kawasan laut kenya,sambung terus dengan somalia,tanzania)

d-melawat abdur rahman

e-lepak sampai nak pengsan kat airport cairo

4.ekceli plan asal xnak la adventure sgt.sekadar jalan2 dgn abdur rahman.tapi sbb die kene tahan kat airport,sempat jumpe die hari last je.jadi berpandukan buku Rough Guide Kenya-kitorang redah semua tempat.

5.memang tak dinafikan kalau bermusafir,kite bole kenal sape diri sendiri dan kawan kite yang sebenar.xpdc kitorang pun tak terlepas dari up and down,tapi alhamdulillah hasil tolak ansur dan saling memaafi menyebabkan perjalanan jadi mudah dan gembira.

6.peringatan kepada yang nak gi kenya pasni- 1.amek vaksin

 2.jangan naik bas Mannaseh (patah tengkuk weh)

 3.kuatkan iman betul2 (penting tak tipu)

 4.sile set kan kat minda worstcase scenario      ever.(lain kalau mmg nak spend ribu2 dollar) 

7.tapi mashallah-kat safari tu ktrg pergi Masai Mara (banyak taman..ibarat nye macam taman negara).yg ni unik-sbb binatang2 sume migrate ke tanzania time ni.so nampak la seluas mata memandang segala jenis binatang2.semua jalan dengan teratur,sistematik,kalah manusia.mmg semua ni Allah yang atur,semua ciptaanNya adelah sempurna.

8.mombasa plak-ramai muslim.sebab dulu arab pernah kuasai tempat ni.tapi sayang akibat occupation oleh english tempat2 len dah jadi kristian.